Are you in a relationship and ever asked yourself; am I better today than I was when we first met?
I was having an honest conversation with my hubs the other day, and we came to the realization that we really do make each other better. We complement each other in our marriage. I push my hubs to want to do better for me and our family and he pushes me to do the same. I wonder; how many people are in a friendship/relationship/marriage that isn’t pushing them to be a better them? Better yet, why would you even allow yourself to be content with what you have when what you have doesn’t bring out your best?
When my hubs and I started dating, I, nor him, was where we wanted to be. Ha, if you leave it up to my hubs, he would tell you I was homeless when we started dating! My situation was, that I had just moved to So Ca from Maryland and I had no place of my own. My parents had just moved back to California a few months prior, so they were living in a one-bedroom with a den with my two-year-old sister. Now, here I come throwing this wrench in their situation and sleeping on their floor, lol. So, yeah, I guess you can say that I was homeless. But my hubs, then-boyfriend, saw so much potential in me and didn’t judge me in my situation but instead motivated me.
He was taking me to church and putting me in the position for life to be spoken into me and God was becoming the center of my life. He was pushing me to step out of my comfort zone. I mean, I was going to workshops to get a job, applying every day for jobs, even willing to work at jobs that I was “overqualified for”. I was so motivated/determined to be better for this man I was blessed to have, that after only two months (long to some, but short to a lot) I got a job and my plan was in motion.
I told Hubs that in 6 months, I was going to have my own place and my car! Guess what? That’s exactly what happened and all because my Hubs kept being my motivator and not my enabler. He didn’t allow me to wallow in my current situation, but pushed me to want to get out of it! Now, my hubs, on the other hand, had everything I had just achieved. He had his own place and was working as a Marketing Director for a large shoe company. But what he lacked was the motivation in believing he deserved more. How ironic is that? The motivator wasn’t motivated to want more for himself!
This is where some may say that God has a sense of humor. Putting two very different people at two different places in lives together… Anywho, back to hubs…
He was so content with his current job working him 24/7 and not paying him what he was worth or what the position actually pays. He was so content with this employer taking advantage of him and him turning the other way. Always making some excuse or saying it is a "growing" opportunity. Now, don't be too hard on me, this was the truth of his then situation. Now, know that I praise my hubs because he started off as an intern with no pay to a paid Marketing Director, but his lack of confidence in himself bothered me to my core.
That's why I made it my duty to speak words of encouragement to him to want more from his job, to demand more from his job. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t always so loving about motivating him, but when I was, he listened. He became more self-aware and the blinders that were once closed, started to open and he began to see that not only I but God wanted more out of him. The blinders are now fully opened and he sees so much for not only himself but for us, that now I am the one who wants him to slow down, lol. Funny thing is, as much as I want him to slow down, he/we can’t. God has shown us so much and blessed us with so much, that lacking motivation, on either part, is now no longer an option.
So, this brings me to my question again... Are you being pushed?
God does not want you to be the same person you were once you gave yourself to him. He hopes that you are renewed mentally, that you are willing to go out and be bold for him, the way you should/were bold for yourself. If God is wanting and expecting growth from you with your relationship with him. Why can’t you expect the same from your relationship/marriage to your significant other?
You should want someone that is going to push you past what you “think” is your limit. Push you to want to be out of your comfort zone. Push you to the point of irritation, in a good way. You and your other half should want to be elevated higher than where you were when you guys first met each other. To be with someone whose mindset is still the same as it was when you first met is dangerous. Where is the growth? Where is the humility to want to be better? You guys are in a vicious cycle that does not grow!
As a tornado grows, starting as a little funnel and expanding from a few feet wide to miles wide, that’s how your relationship should be. And just like that tornado, you will have some rough spots along with some really calm and blissful moments.
Most of all you will have growth.
Every year the same tornados that are monitored come to disrupt life and every year they change. They either become stronger or weaker than they were the year before, sometimes even the same.
Every year or so often, monitor and evaluate your relationship. Are you becoming stronger individually and together? Are you stagnant, stuck in the same place feeling content? Or are you becoming weaker and feeling less than yourself? Are you being pushed? If so, what direction are you going? To or from your relationship? These are questions everyone should be asking themselves.
At the end of it all, your relationship should complement who you are and who you are striving to be. If it is not, then you need to decide, to Push or Not to Push?
Strive to be PUSHED and see the GROWTH!